[Spoken Intro: Lois Griffin (Alex Borstein), Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane), Announcer (Danny Smith), Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane)]
Hey, Peter. I just wanted to wish you good luck.
Oh, that's great. Thank you so much. What's your name, honey?
It's me, Lois.
All right, backstage whore, here's the key to my hotel room. You can flush the dump I left in there
What!?
Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Griffin and Quagmire!
Peter, we're on!
[Verse 1: Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane)]
When the pop tart is a toastin'
And the butter's in my sight
I get an idea oh so bright
When your belly's surely groaning
And your hunger won't subside
Butter your tart and face delight
Let's eat 'em deep into the night
[Pre-Chorus: Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane), Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane)]
I was sitting in the kitchen one day and I (Train on the- the water)
I was itching to fill (Boat on the- boat on the track)
Up my belly with piping hot jelly (Train on the- the water, boat on the- boat on the track- on the track- on the track)
Of the best damn treat in the world (He's talking pop tarts, train on the- on the water)
And I saw a stick of butter (Boat on the- boat on the track)
And it almost made me shudder and scream- and scream (Train on the- the water, boat on the- boat on the track- on the track- on the track)
Made me shudder and scream like a baby girl (Train on the- the water, boat on the track)
[Chorus: Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane), Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane)]
Come follow me into the dark
With your heart as the ark
Which shall shine you the way
Because I'm with you in the dark
With your heart as my mark
Which shall shine you the way through the waves
Come follow me into the dark (Everyone)
With your heart as the ark (From Florida)
Which shall shine you the way (Is stupid and dumb- dumb)
Because I'm with you in the dark (Everyone)
With your heart as my mark (From Florida is stupid)
Which shall shine you the way through the waves (Stupid and dumb- dumb)
[Post-Chorus: Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane), Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane), Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane)]
I can't poop in
Strange places (Strange places)
I can only poop in my home
Get out of the left lane, bitch!
[Verse 2: Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire (Seth MacFarlane)]
When your credit card's declining
And the home bowl's nowhere by
Defer your debt, give the bank a fright
When your train is near capsizing
And your boat is on its side
Butter your tart and face delight
Let's eat 'em deep into the night
[Spoken Outro: Peter Griffin (Seth MacFarlane)]
With butter!?