[Verse 1]
Well if a tree fell down in the middle of the woods
But you didn't hear the sound 'cause you don't hear good
And you got both your fingers in your ears
So I'll hold your hand and I'll turn you 'round
And I'll show you there, what's on the ground
You'll tell me, "Man, that tree's been there for years"
Then I look at you and you look at me
And I ask, "Well who cut down that tree?"
And you say, "I don't see a single tree around"
Well I say, "That there is a tree in fact
And that man you see with the golden axe
Well all his life he's bragged about choppin' shit down
There's interviews from late night TV
And on The View, that dude was seedy
It seemed no tree could be too young to fell
Well that's not fair, if I'm bein' honest
He made it clear when he laid it on us:
He probably wouldn't touch a tree that's only twelve"
[Chorus]
Now the Devil plays his fiddle
While the pedos they all diddle
Little kiddos that society forgot
So long as you own the libs
You can have your way with kids
And we all will just pretend that you did not
[Verse 2]
See, some folks bought a basket that was red, white, and blue
And they put their eggs all in it, which you're not supposed to do
And they handed all those ivory ovals over to that man
Who was standing in the forest, with the hatchet in his hand
And did mention that he used own a pageant full of trees
Where he'd go backstage to see them without any of their leaves?
And he'd always been quite open about actin' on his wishes
Because when you're good at hedging, you can grab 'em by the bushes
Is this metaphor too flowery, is it working like it should?
Is it clear that there's a problem with the way he handles wood?
And I can't tell you how to feel about abusing helpless children
Some folks look up to heroes, yeah and some look up to villains
You may like your beef expensive and your airplanes to be grounded
And you may like to help the wealthy make sure little kids get pounded
And you don't have to like the way I vote, or how I look or smell
But aw sweet Lord, look at the tree and just acknowledge that it fell
[Chorus]
Now the Devil plays his fiddle
While the pedos they all diddle
Little kiddos that society forgot
So long as you own the libs
You can have your way with kids
And we all will just pretend that you did not