Bitter Belief - Beautiful Ugly

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I was a bird with clipped wings Now i’m breakin’ free Today’s the day that i’m escaping from this avery I can’t watch you as you aim to please Cos i’ve been tryna change you but when i do it only changes me So now i’m stuck and don’t know how to win And so i drown in sin My thoughts clouded from the doubt within Don’t know how to function Or how to run from Something that i love But i need to throw the towel in See we had the right start Blinded by a bright spark It felt safe to give you real-estate in my heart Little did i know that you would grab it with a tight grasp Grip and rip it out of me Like it’s a triple by-pass And now i think of all the times that you and i had fought Torture by your eyes Lured by your talk Yeah i saw them other guys But thought that you and i had more Went from having butterflies to suicidal thoughts Cos it hurts me, and it kills me, im unworthy; And you’re guilt free I can’t help but wonder how You switched up and then you spun around I wanted something unconditional And you’re the one i found It was more than physical Shit you felt medicinal But it never felt reciprocal and that was difficult It’s so typical Of me to get attached to something that’s this toxic - fuck this hiphop shit Never felt hate when i saw your face But i hate how you act lately It may seem crazy to walk away right now But crazy is what you made me Cos you don’t love me And that just breaks me You’ll never love me like i love you You don’t love me And that wakes me up to my senses that i’ve come to And i said Never felt hate when i saw your face But i hate how you act lately It may seem crazy to walk away right now But crazy is what you made me Cos you don’t love me And that just breaks me You’ll never love me like i love you You don’t love me And that takes me away from the person that i once knew - it’s my beautiful ugly Ya see, i was punished by my sadness as a young kid But i ain’t huntin for the answers like i once did I felt the numbness when it landed in my front ribs Tryna stomach all the fuckin madness that you come with But now i’m done with All the sleepless nights And all the times that i would seek advice So i’d speak to christ Seeking freedom from my vices that i’d use Just to soothe all the bruises you would leave me when you’d feed me lies But you never were an easy prize Well not for me But you seem pretty easy to them sleazy guys A whole scene of ‘em You’d lead them with your dreamy eyes I saw it comin So don’t ask me why i seem surprised I had my doubts And always had my question marks I thought that you’d respect my heart until you left it scarred I can’t invest in love that never had the depth of ours You asked for space So i went up to collect the stars I would have done it all Maybe i was dumb Maybe i liked it under your thumb and wasn’t dumb at all But i was scared that i would try to run and fall And plummet to depression from obsession with the one i call My one and only The only one that knows me The only one that ever gave me love when i was lonely And it’s a troubled road When you’re dealing with something that’s this toxic Fuck this hip hop shit man Never felt hate when i saw your face But i hate how you act lately It may seem crazy to walk away right now But crazy is what you made me Cos you don’t love me And that just breaks me You’ll never love me like i love you You don’t love me And that wakes me up to my senses that i’ve come to And i said Never felt hate when i saw your face But i hate how you act lately It may seem crazy to walk away right now But crazy is what you made me Cos you don’t love me And that just breaks me You’ll never love me like i love you You don’t love me And that takes me away from the person that i once new - it’s my beautiful ugly
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