I don’t have a problem
Just a little when i’m anxious
When i’m lonely or i’m tired
Or life gets too complicated
And if i really had a problem
I wouldn’t smile like i’m supposed to
Keep my mask on when i hold you
Wake up early, play sudoku
I mean it's just a couple drinks
One to think and one to speak
And another one to slow my mind
And stop the thoughts before they creep
Into my bloodstream
It’s not poison, its protection from my shadow
My reflection
Helps me soften up the edges of all the mirrors that i’ve shattered
And if i really had a problem
I couldn’t hold all this together
I wouldn’t still be writing songs
Writing my wrongs with every letter
And there’s no way i have a problem
Cause i’m not him, i never could be
I was thirteen begging god to feel his pulse and hear his heartbeat
And i was fourteen checking erowid and reddit threads
To know the signs of every overdose
To find which lines would make him comatose
And i was fifteen in stilettos
When i walked past that velvet rope
Wish i could tell that little girl
To turn around and run back home
Cause someone had to stick around
To make sure he stayed afloat
But i didn’t notice as the tides began to turn
And soak through my clothes
So i was 16 when the water filled my lungs and covered my nose
Stopped counting drinks and started pouring mine
Until his hell became my own
I want to go to sleep
Won’t open up my eyes
Always a part of me
That’s never really mine
That little girl is gone
Buried beneath your fire
Ran in to rescue you
And never made it out alive
I’m always anxious
Soon as the lights go down
Anticipating
Flinch when the phone rings loud
Bracing for the end
Shut my eyes and pretend
Cause i work the night shift now
I work the night shift now
I work the night shift now
I work the night shift now