Many years ago, when I was so small
I slipped into a music hall
How was I to know curiosity
Would cost me my... virginity
In a single night I learned all the facts
About the birds and bees and tit for tat
I remember seven Turkish acrobats
Who taught me an unnatural act, ooh!
I was out to play with the entire band
I had them all right in my hand
The pianist confessed to me
There was a horse in his family tree
A contortionist seemed to get his kicks
Forcing little me into the Chinese splits!
Girlfriend, the trained dogs were quite a treat
They thought moi was a bitch in heat
Hit it!
I was gagged and bound by a psycho clown
I'm not into marriage but I've been tied down
Either way the jugglers were living dolls!
And they taught me how to juggle all their balls
I learned how to expose my derriere
Show my legs and bam! Get them in the air
Yes I often stop, thinking to recall
Life is like a music hall, yah!