[intro]
You could tell me everything, then hold it all against me
When you see me slowly losing my mind, mind
Sleep-depriving, keeping my composure, feeling empty
I was screaming out the f* and i'm crying, i
[verse]
Does it all get better if i lie to myself?
I've been trying all of the methods
I try to communicate what i usually think, and it comes off aggressive
See now, where's the part where i finally chill
And i stop feeling like i'm being tested? (d*)
And i stop feeling like i gotta walk on eggshells
And only say thoughts with edits (f*)
Every situation causing discomfort
All of my art i've been losing my love for
All of the things that i used to be hype about
Now i'm like "f* that, i don't like it now"
Bit nervous, discouraged, imperfect, but how am i supposed to be?
I've been hurting, just learning
Why is everybody always saying something wrong with me?
If you only knew me and knew all the things that come out of my mouth are a product of trauma
I don't think anything could make me feel better, i could fix it, but i just don't wanna
I go to therapy, they wanna sit me down and ask questions all about my family
Then all my sleeping habits and my eating habits
Take my f* brain and keep beating at it
Got this sinister energy fueled by some envy that's deep inside of me embedded
How you expect me just not to be jealous?
I wanted the love i see everyone getting
Mainly the reason i feel so alone is all cause i don't even like my reflection
Maybe the reason i don't feel at home is cause i feel a lot and i don't express it (whoa)
[descending]
You could tell me everything, then hold it all against me
When you see me slowly losing my mind, mind
Sleep-depriving, keeping my composure, feeling empty
I was screaming out the f* and i'm crying, i
[drop]
Baby, you can find me
Somewhere crushed beneath all my anxiety
F* all of these demons out my body
Eat your f* heart out, what they told me
Until i feel like me again
[verse]
Oh, no, self-sabotage
Barter done just for applause
Rip my heart out with these claws
Pray to god he changed my flaws
Tell me there's a lot of me that's good
But those are traits that i ain't ever saw
Mama, i was supposed to be a soldier
Why my pain make me so soft?
[chorus]
Why my pain don't get better?
There's a side i ain't showing
When i get intimate, it feel like i break bones
I shouldn't have met you, i should've stayed home
I've already ruined my world
Where else do you think i'd take yours?
I looked in your eyes and saw the sun
Too bad only love when rain pours, i'm sorry
You could tell me everything, then hold it all against me
When you see me slowly losing my mind, mind
Sleep-depriving, keeping my composure, feeling empty
I was screaming out the f* and i'm crying
Baby, you can find me
Somewhere crushed beneath all my anxiety
F* all of these demons out my body
Eat your f* heart out, what they told me
Until i feel like me again
[outro]
You could tell me everything, then hold it all against me
When you see me slowly losing my mind, mind
Sleep-depriving, keeping my composure, feeling empty
I was screaming out the f* and i'm crying, i