(verse 1: swamprat)
I feel like i'm over my head don't know what i'm doing but i want to be next
I'm praying i don't up dead but the path i chose it's leaving my head in a mess
Don't know my right from my left so i've got good morals
But here's what you don't understand bpd it gets the better of me
Voice in my head saying they want to see me bleed
I just want the paranoid thoughts to leave
Put myself in states i can barely see i can barely breathe it's the only time i feel at peace
Chaos i push it aside so the effect of my mind struggling i want to rewind
Just don't want any substance to feel alive addiction is putrid alright
Least i can say i ain't never touched ice i’ve seen what it does to junkies loading their pipes
I'm rolling up my note real tight empty lines heart's beating out my chest
Think i'm too numb to say i'm depressed i lost the ability to care
Benders lasted for days frying out looking dead in sheds
Was barely a team wigging out on acid trips i quickly lost my grip now i question whether i exist
Looking at the stars are you taking the piss
Nineteen years old my heart's gone cold can't see myself growing too old
If only i'd listened and done what i was told i wouldn't be rapping the present shit to my phone
No matter what i tried i'd lose this game she was making up rules so i'd know how to play
Stressing me out as i bender for days lines i've snorted probably last me days
Same bad habits i'm trying to replace
Troubles with drugs since you ate
It was the quickest way to numb the pain but i'd numb my brain
Waking up in psych cause no memory mate
Looking at the calendar that can't be the date
Wouldn't give me a pen so i could write on the page
Every step that i take i can't replace so let me start this again