[verse 1: gibby stites]
Last week i won a sweepstakes (sweepstakes)
Two-week caribbean cruise seems great (seems great)
Had my briefcase, don't wanna be late
The boat leaves at eight and i need this escape
Now i'm off for the next ten weekdays
Sunbathin' on the deck, i heard a scream say
Jumped up from my chair, at my feet i seen a lake
A puddle same color as my cherry cheesecake (what?)
Flowin' from the cabin door, i can't ignore
I peeked and see decapitated waitress at the floor
Beyond the corpse i saw there was a whole bag of more
This shit was nasty, i ran to where the captain snores
In his chair spinnin' 'round, see his eyes are gouged
And a message drawn in blood, never find me now
I ain't scooby-doo and you ain't lookin' for a clue or two
Never knew this cruise would soon become a cruise of doom
[chorus: gibby stites]
I thought i won a really fun cruise
But now i'm bein' chased by a ghoul in a costume
This a murder mystery on this boat, true
Who's the killer? is it someone that i knew? (who the fuck is it?)
I don't want to get killed on this cruise
But at least it is a really nice view to die to (i think that is true)
Yeah, i mean, i had to go anywhere, i guess this is kind of where, right? like
[verse 2: illtemper]
Won a cruise trip so i brought my dad's dramamine
'fore i even leave, got ménière's disease and i need
Not to feel dizzy or i can't even stand or leave
Motion sickness is the worst, dawg, gets me panicky (aww fuck!)
This dramamine sucks, i've been sleepin' away
Crazy how deep i sleep, oh man, these dreams are insane
Foul killin' people, this room, i ain't leavin' today
Feel nauseous, in a daze i lay, keepin' it safe
Wake up covered in blood, cops surroundin' me
Half-asleep, dumbfounded, why the fuck they houndin' me?
Confoundedly confused, i've been sleepin' for hours, g
'fore they show me footage of me killin', it's no fallacy (fuck!)
Came here just to relax, i had no plans to sin
Check my sickness pills 'cause this feels like a xanny binge
Turns out it wasn't dramamine, it was ambien
And i been sleep killin' like a fuckin' drug champion (i'm sorry!)
[chorus: gibby stites]
I thought i won a really fun cruise
But now i'm bein' chased by a ghoul in a costume
This a murder mystery on this boat, true
Who's the killer? is it someone that i knew? (who the fuck is it?)
I don't want to get killed on this cruise
But at least it is a really nice view to die to (i think that is true)
Yeah, i mean, i had to go anywhere, i guess this is kind of where, right? like