[part i: heavensvoicemail]
[intro]
Let me get this off my chest, i gotta say my piece
If heaven...if heaven had perception, i'd die without hesitation
But if they asked, "how are you", i’d doctor the translation
Prescription says i'm good
And grief is a locked room, no ventilation
Some pain, some pain isn't shaped for polite conversations
Some ache only answers in whispers, read ’em in the constellations
Quiet truth that rise in the dark between revelations
[verse]
God please, god please
God, please tell me i fuckin' matter
I know i'm constantly ringin' you, knowin' you'll never answer
My heart and my head are drinkin' too, liquor is where i [?]
Sinnin' inside my patterns, i’m hidin’ behind my medication
Scared of pacin', racin’ my city, just tryna capture
The pictures i can paint, picture of pain, i fill my glasses
Somethin' to wash my own medicine down, i'm sick of passin'
Sick of hearin’ it's alright when i know that it's fuckin' backwards
Stuck on the rungs of ladders, forgot what i'm runnin' after
Feel fear in my destinations 'cause [?] is stuck in traffic
Breathin' in desperation, i'm dyin' for satisfaction
If i can never have it, then what's the use of this rappin'?
My fam has been askin' questions, i do not have an answer
My niggas been askin' questions, and i do not have an answer
My girl, she been askin' questions, i do not have an answer
I'm beggin' god for a message, i hope that he fuckin' answers that i matter
[outro]
Beggin' god for a message, i hope that he fuckin' answers that i matter
Hope that he fuckin' answers
I hope that he fuckin' answers that i matter
[part ii: warletters]
[intro]
The only war worth fighting is the riot in the mirror
The battle where the enemy and the answer grow nearer
And maybe i don't need a picture perfect future, just a future i can picture
A line i can draw steady
A life that looks at me and says, "i've been ready"
So i'm writin' war letters
Eviction notices to my demons
Telling every shadow that's lingered past its season
That i'm done making room for anything that dims my reasons
Time to leave
[verse]
Rent free in the shadow of my lack of self-image
Hell livin' in the battle i can't see myself winnin'
So if you find this war letter, know the score settled
You ain't gotta mourn, better just to leave me with the scorched devil
Rose petals layin' on top of my new home
In spite of my new goals, i guess i'll never reach 'em
A victim of new woes on my back, i'll never beat 'em
They need me to choose hope, they cry tears, they know i need 'em
Never been strong on my own, hands of real niggas hold my back
My poems keep me out of wack, my own brain holds me back
My own pen take home on tracks, whole page of [?]
Whether you relate or if you hate, just don't forget the past
[chorus]
Never felt this way before
In between the waves and shore
Cried my tears for twenty years
Now i don't care no more
My hands are to the lord
You know this man's so sore
Leave me here for eighty years
I can't go no more