[intro]
A few years ago, i was working for [?] in sheffield
And one day i had to make a delivery to a firm, in chapel-en-le-frifth, derbyshire
Well, i made the delivery and i was on my way home, when i thought i'd stop for a bite to eat in a cafe. now, i think i had a [?], a few [?] and butter, a cup of tea, and a read of the paper. and then i got back into my van and set off back to sheffield
However, as i was driving on, i accidentally clipped the wing mirror of a ford transit van, that was parked, rather badly i have to say, but it was just a slight contact, you know? nothing serious, so i didn’t stop and report the incident
But anyway, the next thing i know, i'm on this narrow country lane with a ford transit up me rear, with three very rough looking types staring at me in the mirror, pointing daggers, not saying anything, but making their intentions clear enough
[chorus]
We're three men in a van!
Three men in a van!
Scare us out if you can!
Three men in a van!
[interlude]
Well, i knew i hadn’t committed an offence, not really you know?
They were just trying to intimidate me, psychological warfare
So i took no notice, just increased me speed, slightly. also took the backroad via [?] thinking that would deter them. but no, no, they pulled up alongside me, one of them with bleached hair and [?], bit scruffy, leaned out of the window and tried to grab my wing mirror, which is a crazy thing to do up in the peaks, with [?] going on, suicide
[chorus]
We're three men in a van!
Three men in a van!
Scare us out if you can!
Three men in a van!
[interlude]
Well, i was quite relived when we reached [?] because there was a police station up ahead, but as we passed little john's grave, they turned off into a pub car park, whooping and cheering, [?] mind. so that's the end of that, and i thought nothing more of the incident. but you know, ever since then, if i see a ford transit, theres always three men in a van, different ones, but usually in the building trade, and they look really nastily at me, as if they know, is there a secret brotherhood [?]?
[chorus 2]
We're three men in a van! (i suspect there is)
Three men in a van!
Scare us out if you can!
Three men in a van!
[chorus 3]
We're three men in a van!
Three men in a van! (that's right, there's always three!)
Scare us out if you can!
Three men in a van!
[outro]
And i have to say, i think there should only be two
In the front