'Twas in the forest of Sherwood in the year 1270
Lived a famous dealer called Robin Head
And his band of very merry men
They lived off nuts and berries
And the occasional blue skin
Doing the roundabout thing
And dispensing much good cheer
The sound of happy laughter
Echoed round the forest green
There was old Friar Tucker
The king motherfucker
And Maid Marion the odd queen
Said Little John "Let's have some meat"
Said Robin "Oh man what's the point
I'm tired of doing this venison thing
Let's go and roll a . . . ."
But just then there burst upon the scene
A band of the Sheriff's men
Saying "allo allo allo wot's going on 'ere
And wot's all this 'ere then
I'll have to take you along with me
To the palace of the King"
Said Robin "Hey man don't get so uptight
I'm only doing my thing"
So Robin bid a sad farewell, and to Marion gave a kiss
And they took him away with certain substances for further analysis
And the word it spread both far and near
And the newsfolks came to see
For the man who always gave good deals
Was of great popularity
So they took him up before the court of Nottingham's terrible King
Who said "for years I've been after you
And now you're going to swing
But first before I sentence you for the things that you've done wrong
Tell me what is this plant that you grow in the forest
And I think that I'll try some"
So the minutes they passed in silence
And the air grew mightily thick
Till the King he cried "I feel fine!!
But perhaps very slightly sick"
But now the story has to end
As happily as it began
For Robin now deals for the forest
And the Sheriff does Nottingham