[intro: randy feltface]
So i was at the airport...
[verse 1: randy feltface]
I came across a bear and he reeked of pot
There's nothing down there, how's he even seen his bong?
But he looked kinda familiar, under all of the drinking and noise...
Oh right, it's mcfarlane's only other voice (fuckface!)
Anyways, let's get the obvious out
Yes, you managed to get married and then drowned yourself in clout
Your story warmed hearts with its lovely shooting star beat
...then you shat on it like at one of your parties (you whore!)
Violating every convention 'cept for your writing schtick
Lining up women, but can barely pull off a line on lynn
And both of the times he's had a flash in his vision
This industry plant unbags a cat on some idol shit
You've been sat behind the wheel for too long to be healthy
And that's both in the barn, and in you and john's friendship
Yikes, and you're worse than aisle 4 with a shelf piece
Quit taking the piss, take chekhov's pistol and end it
[verse 2: ted and randy feltface]
Jesus, thought i heard the spiders were monsters
But that's gotta be australia's top 10 horrors (yeesh!)
You can't leave that desk, bitch, so once i catch you
I'll take you on a trip for 'fwee', hope you packed shrooms
After wrangling the fat kid, i can handle this
Blue bald man getting blue balled by mandarins
(i'm fuckin purple!) yeah, from all of the damage it takes
For your one date to fall flat as her hamster did
Fuck you, randy, you can suck a dick
One glance at your own religion, you're just god's bitch
And that doesn't mean i'm scared, you prick, i'm just laughing
How's a vegan taking more meat in him than rockhampton?
Heard your uncle's bike left him with a new brand
Guess a thrusting puppet oughta know about fused hands
So now that i've won this case, here's the uncut truth
I'm the second bear since the phone tower to fuck you
[verse 3: randy feltface]
Ughh! you're giving me nothing to work with
Fits a man child can't experience his first kid
And yet this virgin's somehow worse than his friends are when
Spewing slurs like the slew of sperm that he drenched john with (bleaghhh!)
And if it wasn't for that ball of fire
You'd have been left cold as a mcdonald's pie
Got your fucked-up karma from the doctor's lies
You were almost better off under donny's knife
Not a person is seated for the performances seeping
From your sequel, i built a more soulful morgan than freeman did
Save him from your series, as if it's something you control
But it's... better than tryna jerk into brady's super bowl (oh god it's everywhere!)
Sweet caroline, i hear you and i tweak
I'd make your budget back selling you on gumtree
Weeded this bear without a brownie or citizen's laws
So fuck your head and the tear it rode in on!
[verse 4: ted]
Yeah, there used to be a flannel-backed ass of a comic
But he fled without paying for his gas, so they got him
Wait, what does that mean? he can play to palais seats
But he's bald and judgemental- a racist baby!
You can't sit through a page of your own damn novel
How can you walk to skye? i don't think you can walk, bro
And all the times you lied to your audience, you oughta get
Your ass out of comedy and back into politics
And keep it outta the city or i'll be boston your shit free
Here, i'll be the mailbox, your face is the windscreen
When i'm through, i'll have your body on a list, up
With your artistic legacy: brutally fistfucked
Cat-called a psycho, i bet you're feeling badass (yeah?)
But all this purple guy can slaughter is a laught track
Between your jokes and your policies, you'd have your people starving
How you run a campaign's why no one wants you at a party, bitch