[Verse 1]
My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll
My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll
This roll of terrible bags, two hundred terrible bags
These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end
[Chorus]
Endless roll, endless roll
Endless roll, endless
Roll
[Verse 2]
Kirkland Signature
Your drawstrings don't work
Kirkland Signature
Are they decorative? Are they decorative!?
How much more can I endure?
Or should I cut my losses?
How much more can I endure?
Or should I just cut my losses?
[Chorus]
Endless roll, endless roll
Endless roll, endless
Roll
[Bridge]
Ignoring the drawstring and tying a knot
At the top of the bag I wish that I hadn't bought
When it's all over, the two hundred are gone
I'm gonna throw a party on my front lawn
[Bridge 2]
And when the party is over, I'll discard the trash
Put it into a brand that deserves my cash
Deserves my cash
And when the party's all over, I'll discard the trash
Put it into a brand that deserves my cash
Deserves my cash
[Verse 3]
My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll
My life is being measured by this endless roll, this endless roll
These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end
These bags infuriate me to no end, to no end
[Chorus]
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
(Endless roll)
[Outro]
Your drawstrings just don't work at all
I had other drawstring bags before, so I know how they're supposed to work
These bags function as though the design of drawstrings on trash bags were merely decorative and not actually expected to shrink and eventually close the opening of a bag of trash
When I take out the trash, I now find myself tying a knot at the top of the bag and ignoring the drawstring feature altogether to save myself the irritation of trying, and boy have I tried
I remain incredulous that the strings are there
Supposed to work, so I've tried so many times, thinking the last time it failed so spectacularly, it must've been a mistake of God
No! It's all two hundred! All two hundred of these bags are shit!