[verse 1]
Took him out for dinner had stewed eels mash and pie
He said he wasn't super peckish so i finished his and mine
And then we took a lovely stroll past the thames and london eye
And then he leaned in to kiss me but im feeling rather shy innit?
[verse 2]
My tummy goes all dodgy and were standing in the queue
And im holding noxious gases in til i get to the loo
Then i let one slip the lift is the great smog of 52
Then the bell chimes the doors part i dash out and im
[chorus]
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)
[verse 3]
Sitting on the toilet, ist a loo with a view
And im panicking hes knocking oh my god just let me poo
And i barely hear him shout, i shouldve thinked this further through
I push and push the pain won't stop next time i'll take the stew
[verse 4]
We went downstairs to the cafe and i see much more food
And suddenly im hungry but he won't stop being rude
I told him i want dinner but he wants to see me nude
But hes impatient and this song is missing an interlude
[bridge]
I close my eyes
I hear my tummy roaring once again
I close my cheeks
I feel like running to the loo
I feel the lift
Were almost up again
Then the bell chimes the doors part i dash out and im
[chorus]
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)
Shaaaaaartingggg, sharting at the shaaaaaard
(sharting at the shard)