[Verse 1: Stefan]
Vodka, gin, Bacardi
And a half a bag of wine
Something out of date I've never tasted in my life
So Santa, let yourself in
We'll be on the kitchen floor
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure
[Verse 2: Ash]
Mum, Dad, Aunt and Uncle
And some guy I've never met
Are singing songs I've never heard
From a worn-out tape cassette
And we'll know we woke the neighbours
When we hear 'em at the door
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure
[Verse 3: Stefan]
My uncle thinks he's Jimmy Carr
And laughs at his own jokes (His own jokes)
My cousin bought his stash along
And mum just took a toke (Took a toke)
Now Grandad's droppin' F-bombs
He thinks he's still at war
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure
[Verse 4: Stefan, Stefan & Dru]
Grandma got the munchies
So she went for a kebab (A kebab)
My brother puked his guts up
So we had to call him a cab (Call a cab)
I bet that next December, our heads will still be sore
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure
(Da, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum)
[Verse 5: Stefan]
Dad promised he'd make breakfast
But woke up after 1
I've smiled so much at presents
That my face is going numb
We said we'd watch the Queen's speech
But Shrek's on Channel 4
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure
[Bridge: Brett Domino]
Well, the carolers are singin'
I mean, they're obviously trying their best
But our hangovers are stingin'
So we have to tell 'em to give it a rest
And just like last December, and the one we had before
[Chorus: All]
Vodka, gin, Bacardi
And a half a bag of wine
We're trade the Christmas trimmings for a party any time
And we don't want nothin' fancy
Just a shoulder for support
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure (Woah)
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure (Woah)
We won't remember Christmas
So Santa, let yourself in
We'll be on the kitchen floor
We won't remember Christmas, that's for sure