Vic Vega II - Autism Diaries

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{intro: vic vega] I was diagnosed with borderline autism when i was five My disability affected my parents and that's when they were looking at me differently That’s how i was born different than everybody in the family [verse 1: vic vega] A lonely child who feels lost was diagnosed with autism With a troubled upbringing born with a pākehā complexion This is a thing the world does not accept So i learned how to draw a rainbow and read the alphabets Normal human beings used to always call me a loner My anger issues was putting pressures on my shoulders I struggled to communicate during my youth Lacking eye contact, having no friends and fighting out the blue My teacher used to take me down into the bathroom Because every now and then i took a number one and number two struggling to take a piss in the shit Outside during lunch, that's when the teacher grabbed me by my wrist Got into trouble and went straight into detention Learned from my mistake, my lifestyle started to change I apologized and realized i was a menace The bell was ringing and kindergarten was finished [verse 2: vic vega] During my youth i always struggled tying up both of my shoes needing help from my nan What do i really have to do? watching spongebob squarepants helped me get through the day Jimmy neutron, ed, edd n eddy brought back these memories Spongebob taught me how to tie my own shoes It was a blessing but most will never have a clue Television programs was our thing and we were thankful That was a struggle. i wasn't surrounded in luxury I grew up living for people would always make fun of me Children acting up. a lot of bullies were picking on me Created a rap song. i gave my blood, sweat and tears Struggling with writer’s block for like almost a year Making a rap song and have women sing a lullaby I know exactly what i wanted to do. i wanted to song write [verse 3: vic vega] I think i'm old enough to understand now Cause everybody wants to always put a man down, check it My childhood experiences was filled with pain and misery People weren't satisfied because i have a disability Struggling with homework and learning how to write Maths and science classes were frustrating, i had a hard time I've always wanted to become a famous rapper Like my childhood heroes, while growing up still feel the rapture My autism made me who i am today Found acceptance in myself, listen to what i have to say It don't matter if you're black, green, yellow or purple We shall unite together as a team and form a circle I do not have friends, most of my days i was so lonely Always get a question wrong during class and that shit broke me I guess that i was cursed from the start Why does a good man like me always end up with a broken heart? Our morals slowly died down. how we were raised Getting bullied during school, my life was never the same Family ain't family no more, the trust was broken Looking back on my past, throughout the years i felt so hopeless People used to call me retard, retard, retard They disapproved my pain, my happiness was being robbed I'm the originator. vic vega is the author The most important person in the story, the main character When times get rough don’t be so hard on yourself Maybe someday you’ll understand the pain and misery i felt I'm proud to be autistic. i’m proud of who i am I'm proud to be alive. i learned how to be a man I'm proud of all of my people, so everybody take a stand I'm proud to be maori. so let’s take back our stolen land I'm proud to find acceptance n my craft so nothing bores me Survive through the times, i'm proud to share my whole story Cause everybody suffers but most won't understand. i'm a regular person but i will always give a helping hand These are the words being written by me Cause in the end we're all human and we all make mistakes my g [outro: vic vega/lennox's monologue] Growing up with autism made me look at the world differently. as a child I used to love having fun with animals and listening to rap music back in the day It helped me cope with the trauma i experienced living in a violent household I've always been a loner all my life. growing up now it just feels even more depressing So i ask myself How does it really feel about being alone?
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