[intro: vic vega]
My mother and my grandmother used to always argue back in the day ever since my father left i was becoming fed up with life and my heart slowly grew colder it happened almost every day
[verse 1: vic vega]
My depression's been getting worse they say i can't express my feelings
Past memories i'm always hearing people screaming
Through all the years i felt pain, i felt tears
Suffered through these hard times these were the moments that i feared
Born and raised differently here in the ghetto
Father became abusive i was looking into the devil
Wasn't the same since that faggot left
I'm staring at these four corner rooms thinking about life and death
Abandonment issues which i've been struggling all my life
Teary eyes and snotty nose, so many problems going through my mind
The pain continues building up, i'm feeling numb
Through these dark and rainy days it's hard for me to overcome wanna cry my eyes out i'm too hard on myself
Wanna reach out but nobody was even here to help
Knowing my family they never bothered
This was the time i fell victim to generational trauma
{verse 2: vic vega]
Since the day my grandmother passed away, everybody went to the funeral
Until my father came which made me stop to help her burial
My father showed up and i wanted to punch him in the face
For all the trauma that he caused he became a disgrace
Thinking about this makes me sick to my stomach
Violent thoughts inside my mind but i'mma make the shit public
I ignored her because i got sick of hearing all those lies
Abusive role model you are i wish you motherfuckers died
These moments came so quick i felt aggressive
After she passed away, i was struggling with depression
I left the house and started going for walks
Looking to find some gardens but deep down i lost remorse
Me and my mother always argued back and forth
Caught his dan all of the dramas my heart inside was born
Weird vibes the snake shit but because i always saw the signs
I finally realized my family betrayed me all this time
{verse 3: vic vega]
Generational and childhood trauma it's never ending
This was the hardship i had to face there's no pretending
I've seen a lot of people die and people cry
Witnessing violence all my life this pain is hurting me inside
It's like i have no happy ending
A lost soul trapped in a cage learning to become independent everybody's got problems of their own but i'mma tell you mine because my story's full of truth, i feel so traumatized
All of the years all of the moments that we used to share
All of the times where life was good became a nightmare
So many fights bear bottles and vibes have slowly changed
Reckless behavior in the house, my life was not the same
Family showed the true colors, i knew it from the start
The loyalty and compassion left with a broken heart
Succumb to trauma cause the pain is everlasting
So i decided to write my songs with a passion
I know what it's like to lose something precious
My parents always fight a lot and there was no forgiveness
Writing music helps me to cope with the pressure
Times was getting hard my days were still not getting better
My life is based around hypocrites and liars
So i started focusing on building my empire
For years i'm trying to break the generational curse
I guess the whole world don't understand my pain and my hurt
[outro: vic vega/lennox's monologue]
On june 7, 2022. that was when my grandmother passed away. after her death, my family members i used to look up to showed their true colors around me. my only way out was to pack up my bags and leave